Finding Hope in Missed Opportunities
Coming up on this episode of the Men at the Movies podcast, we explore the themes from Tron Legacy. In focusing on the father son relationship in this movie, we identify so many missed opportunities. Like Flynn, it’s easy to mess up in a pursuit of control, order, even perfection. But no matter how many times we fall, it’s not to late to reconcile. Join us as we discover God’s truth in this movie.
The Quotes
We have a desire as sons to be drawn into a bigger story by someone who we love, trust, and know.
We get lost wanting to teach our kids everything, when all they need most is our presence, not instruction.
So much of my concern for my children’s behavior is based in a concern of how other’s will think of my performance as father.
The more pressure I put on my heart, the more pressure I put on the hearts of the people around me. The more grace I give my heart, the more grace I’m willing to give the people around me.
The striving for perfection actually kills what you’re trying to accomplish.
We long to be sons who are fought for and fathers who would sacrifice for our children.
Themes
Missed Opportunities
Work, distractions, shame
You might have been there, but still missed the opportunity
The gap between what you remember and what your kids remember
The pursuit of control, order, and perfection in our house
The pressure to teach
Pressure vs grace
Fathers and sons
Inviting son into the larger story, greater adventure
Fathers lose their way when they pursue control, order, and perfection.
Control and order vs. chase of being the perfect father
Not every lesson they learn needs to come from me
Sons feeling like, “I’ve done everything you’ve asked, and it’s never enough.”
It’s not too late
Resources
Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he's a bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties. - Ze Frank
“The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.
It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.
Once again you will have all the food you want,
and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.
Never again will my people be disgraced.
Then you will know that I am among my people Israel,
that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other.
Never again will my people be disgraced.” - Joel 2:25-27 (NLT)
Questions
Where have you missed opportunities with your kids?
Where did your dad miss opportunities with you? What did that say to your heart?
In what ways were you fathered well?
In what ways have you fathered well?
What is your relationship with control, order, and perfection? What happens when you pursue these things?
How do you pursue control, order, and perfection?
How has trying to be a perfect father gotten in the way of connecting with your kids?
What can you do today to step in and recover some of those missed opportunities? It’s not too late.
What do you need to ask for forgiveness from your kids?
What in your relationship makes you open and available to your kids? What needs to change to make that happen?
More info
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Edited and mixed by Grayson Foster
Logo and episode templates by Ian Johnston
Audio quotes performed by Britt Mooney, Paul McDonald, and Tim Willard, taken from Epic (written by John Eldredge) and Song of Albion (written by Stephen Lawhead).
Southerly Change performed by Zane Dickinson, used under license from Shutterstock.
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