Where Have All Our Friends Gone?

Written By Paul McDonald

Coming up on the Men at the Movies podcast, we have a special treat as we discuss Stand by Me. The main theme was the closing line—“I never had any friends like I had when I was 12. Does anyone?” This movie is rich with themes of friendship, the loss of innocence, and discovering our true identity. Don’t be led by comfort and fear, but join us as we discover God’s truth in this movie.

About Dave Small

Dave Small spent a decade with the Free Burma Rangers before founding the Jungle Discipleship School, a ten-month Bible based program in the jungle war zone of Burma. Dave is originally from Canada but now called the jungles of Burma (Myanmar) home. Dave is the author of the Wandering Beloved. You can learn more about Dave and the Jungle Discipleship School at www.junglediscipleshipschool.com or on Facebook.

The Quotes

  • You honor the other person when you invite yourself over.

  • Sometimes you just need to invite yourself over.

  • Childhood should be this freedom to go and explore.

  • Shame and embarrassment doesn’t exist as much in youth, but become a lot bigger part of our experience as we get older.

  • There’s a freedom we experience when we don’t need to self-censor with our friends.

  • Their fear is overwhelmed by their curiosity. As we get older, fear dominates us in many ways.

  • How can we stay sensitive and soft with others while we live in the middle of a war zone?

  • Don’t be led by comfort or fear.

 Themes

  • Friendship

    • Feel free to invite yourself over.

    • Adventure and discover together.

    • Get out of your comfort zone together.

    • Fearlessness of youth-both in adventure, but also to share their vulnerability

    • True friends see the true us, that exists beyond embarrassment and shame

    • They do things together (junkyard, adventure, camping)

  • Loss of innocence

    • Shame doesn’t really exist yet in that innocent time

    • Fear is overwhelmed by curiosity, until later when fear dominates our experience.

    • Occurs with the betrayal by those who should protect us

    • Loss of trust in others

    • Occurs when we face situations that feel overwhelming and are out of our control

  • Discovering your identity

    • You need friends who see you for who you are

    • We go through this process in a spiritual sense to handle the war that’s around us

    • It happens when we are not led by comfort or fear.

Resources

Questions

  • How do you feel when someone invites themself over? What would it feel like to invite yourself over to a friend’s house?

  • What were your friends like when you were 12 (or around that age)? How would you describe them? You? Your relationship?

  • How are your friends different today?

  • How did shame and embarrassment grow during your adolescence?

  • When was the last time you felt like “we knew exactly who we were, and exactly where we were going?”

  • How does fear dominate your curiosity?

  • How do you live in a war zone? How does that impact your ability to be vulnerable and sensitive to others?

  • How were you betrayed during your adolescence/loss of innocence?

  • How would you like to reinvent yourself?

  • What has happened recently that felt overwhelming, or that was out of control?

  • When was the last time you “did something” with a friend, more than just sitting and drinking coffee?

More info

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Edited and mixed by Grayson Foster

Logo and episode templates by Ian Johnston

Audio quotes performed by Britt Mooney, Paul McDonald, and Tim Willard, taken from Epic (written by John Eldredge) and Song of Albion (written by Stephen Lawhead).

Southerly Change performed by Zane Dickinson, used under license from Shutterstock.

Links:

Paul McDonald
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