Return of the King with Paul McDonald and Jay Heck

Paul McDonald and Jay Heck conclude the series on the Lord of the Rings with The Return of the King (2003) starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, and Orlando Bloom (among many others!). The story of The Lord of the Rings sets a vision for who we could be as men. We see that through testing and pain, our growth is possible and our true selves are revealed. For all the armies, politics, strength, and wisdom, the fate of the world depends on the small battle for our hearts.

Join us as we discover our stories in this movie!

About Jay

Jay Heck is married to Heather, with son Baer (18 and off to college in a few weeks) and daughter Bozlie (17). He is the Director/Founder of Being Sons, an "Outfitter" of the masculine soul. God changed Jay when He invited him to follow the rabbit hole of identity as His son, and that changed everything. Now he creates content and adventures to help men discover their identities as sons.

Read more about Being Sons at their website: www.beingsons.com

Check out the Being Sons Podcast

Subscribe to the Being Sons YouTube channel - short videos to illuminate sonship

Adventures include:

• Boot Camps (for men only)

• First Tracks (1-on-1 adventures for father + sons 9-13)

• First Bloom (1-on-1 adventures for father + younger daughter)

• Trailhead (1-on-1 adventure for father + sons 14+)

Quotes

• Three questions this story brings: What will you do when you see the story clearly?  What role will you play?  Do you have to courage to do it? 

• “How will your quality be proved?”/“Here’s a great time for a Shire-folk to prove his worth.”  Every man gets the chance to prove his worth. 

• Victory doesn’t come unless someone comes to our rescue. 

• “I go now to my fathers, in whose company I will not now feel ashamed.” 

• The fate of the world comes down to a struggle for Frodo’s heart, between Gollum and Sam. 

• I can’t carry the weight of the task that’s been entrusted to my care without His intimate help. 

• “Put aside the ranger.  Become who you were born to be.” 

• Many men have never been told they are born for greatness, and need a vision painted over time so they can choose to be that. 

• Every day, every moment in every environment that we walk into, we’re faced with this question: What kind of man do you want to be? And very few of us really understand what it is we’re being invited into. 

• Richard Rohr’s 5 truths: Life is hard.  You are not that important. Life is not about you.  You are not in control.  You are going to die. 

• If you’re the center of your world, then it’s going to fall apart. 

• “It’s really easy being a good soldier.  You just have to realize that you’re already dead.”-Band of Brothers 

• “Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”-Fight Club 

• We have to be living in a larger story that we’re not seeing.  That’s what all these movies are telling us.  Will you be curious enough to search it out? And if it’s a story that’s so small that it leads you to initiate yourself, look at what the product of that is.  “The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” – African proverb 

• To understand your story is a far bigger rescue than we know. 

• Sometimes our rescue is the last thing we want to see or experience.  Sometimes the best things that can happen are the worst things that can happen. 

• “Experience isn’t the best teacher.  Evaluated experience is.” –John Maxwell 

• All growth comes through pain. 

• “Without vision (a divinely given revelation), the people perish.”  Proverbs 29:19 

• We can’t achieve our vision on our own.   

• God’s vision is too big for me to accomplish on my own, and will require supernatural assistance.  We must do it with God. 

Themes

• It’s important to have a vision for where we want to go and who we want to be. This story sets a vision for who we could be as men. 

• Principles and lessons are easier to learn in story. 

• Why we love this story: What initiation looks like, description of the great war between good and evil. 

• Friendship is of greater worth than great wisdom or strength of arms. 

• Arc of the books: Slow orientation of the characters, the growth of evil, true identity revealed.

• Contrast between Denethor (gave up, lived in a small story, life is about what I can manage/control/manipulate) and Theoden (cared for his people, went to fight an unwinnable battle, life is bigger than me and my petty offenses) 

• The voice in heads whispers, “They don’t know what it’s like. They’re going to try to take what’s precious, and you have to guard it and keep it.” And is intended to keep you from the person who can help you most. We become isolated and divided through lies, to the point we no longer trust the voice of one speaking truth. The accuser tries to separate me from the one who is meant to help lighten my load. 

• The tension comes in whether I believe He is taking my life from me, or if He’s preserving my life by his intimate fellowship with me. 

• For all the armies and people, the battle comes down to the small battles for the heart. 

• Aragorn can’t be both.  He can’t be both ranger and king.  One has to die for the other to live. He knew what it would cost him, and he was afraid of letting people down. 

• We can be reoriented simply by asking God how he sees us. He only gives us what we can handle.   

• Every character faces the Five Truths from Father Richard Rohr, and how they respond to those truths determines their outcome. 

• Many men have already died, and they are just trying to make life work. 

• Contrast between Lord of the Rings (small characters in small stories who are invited into a larger story) and Fight Club (self-initiating men who have no good story to live in) 

•  God uses our pain, and we don’t want to waste our pain.  All growth happens through pain. 

• Our children need to see the larger story in order to enjoy the Shire. 

• Through testing, our true selves are revealed. 

Resources

All that is gold does not glitter, 

Not all those who wander are lost; 

The old that is strong does not wither, 

Deep roots are not reached by the frost. 

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, 

A light from the shadows shall spring; 

Renewed shall be blade that was broken, 

The crownless again shall be king. 

 - Aragorn’s poem

• Adam’s Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation, by Richard Rohr

• How do lobsters grow? video

Questions

• Are there things going on in my story and my world that I don’t understand? 

• What will you do when faced with evil?  

• Where does the larger story invite you?  How can we manage to do anything great? 

• What identity must be put aside to become who you were called to be? 

• What doubts do you face when invited to become who you were born to be? 

• What kind of man do you want to be?  What words describe that man? 

• Have you asked God what He thinks of you?  What words does He use?  How does He see you? Spend some time listening (and be sure it aligns with what the Bible says). 

• What vision do you have for your life?  Where did it come from?